Odds & Ends

Why Your Plan Is Messing With Your Happiness

Screen Shot 2014-03-31 at 1.31.26 PMI have always loved the quote that says “What messes us up most in life, is the picture in our head of how it’s supposed to be.” The reason I have always liked this quote is because I know personally I am the type of girl who without knowing it, plans how things “should be” or “should look” in the future. I feel like ever since I was 5, I was constantly looking forward to the next right of passage, or the next phase of my life. Everyone these days are in a constant hurry to check off the next box on their life plan- to make it to high school, graduate high school, get into your dream college, get your dream job, get married, have two boys, two girls and white picket fence and on and on and on. How sad is that? We’ve been so wrapped up in how things need to be in our future that we can’t let go and enjoy the present without wondering how this will affect the next step.

Over the past year, I have really began to realize how much “my idea of my future” is out of my control. God has a plan for each of us that none of us can truly comprehend. Everyone has had those moments where you’re like “WHYYYYY????!!!” “WHY MUST THIS HAPPEN TO ME?” “MY LIFE IS OVER BECAUSE….” blah blah blah. I have these conflicts on a daily basis just as all my friends and family do. But as I said before, the more life I’ve experienced (which I know still isn’t much), the more I realize that there is truly no point in having a plan. Sounds crazy right? All you “Type A” people are probably laughing/ beginning to feel anxiety overwhelm you when you think of the idea of not having a “plan.” Let me clarify…

When I say that I believe there is no point in having a plan I am not saying that I think it is pointless to make plans, goals or to think ahead. I think it is vital to make goals for yourself and to hold yourself accountable for those goals. What I am saying is that you should not restrict yourself to a straight and narrow path and or plan (i.e. meet mr. wonderful, get engaged to mr. wonderful,  marry mr. wonderful, have a wedding with mr. wonderful that replicates your pinterest dreams… you get it). Why are we so concerned with accomplishing these things? It’s because we believe that we are short on time. Just recently I’ve began to realize the problem is that we rush into everything in hopes of meeting these personal checkpoints. I began to realize this problem when at 20 years young, I realized that two years ago I wouldn’t have EVER believed that I would be where I am right now. It hit me then that life doesn’t pan out to be even close to what you had planned.

ENDLESS things have not gone as I have planned and although I wished in the moment that things would have gone my way, I am so happy with the outcome because I have learned an amazing lesson from these kinks in my “plan”- to go with the flow.

Rolling with the punches and taking in life a day at a time is definitely easier said than done. I am still working on accepting the things I cannot change and having faith that everything that happens is a part of the bigger picture. This mindset is by all means a work in progress and I cannot say that I have perfected the concept of not drifting into a day dream of how my future must look. But, I can say that the change I have felt since having this change in outlook has benefited me in such a positive way that I cannot describe through words.  I encourage y’all to challenge yourself to not look forward to the next thing you must accomplish in your timeline of life. Instead, try to live day by day, laugh at your mistakes, accept what you cannot change, and know that there is a reason you didn’t get that internship, or didn’t make the team, or have someone walk out of your life. It is all a part of the bigger picture.

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